Thursday, April 28, 2011

You know what really ticks me off? Everything.

As those who know me well (read: at all) know, things grate on me easily. Especially people. I don't really have a high tolerance for stupidity (or arrogance, or ignorance, or feigned ignorance, or bad hair styles, or slow talkers, or close talkers, or people who act like everything is an inside joke, or people who constantly quote movies that no one else likes, or those guys who...ok you get the idea.)


In fact, that's one of the main reasons I named my blog "Semper in Excreta" which means, always in excrement. I didn't make up the phrase, but I can relate to the sentiment.


One of the many beaches that make Californians better than you.
Anyway, my most recent point of aggravation is Californians. Not all of them mind you, only the ones who think that they are somehow entitled to a higher degree of awesome just because they come from the state. Let me first say that I have meet socially awkward Californian home schooled shut-ins who rival even the most sheltered Sandy, UT Mormons. Your state does not make you special. Just because you are from the same place as someone cool, their coolness does not rub off on you.


But I'll be making that point later. What got me on this was a post on the "Overheard at BYU-Idaho" Facebook page saying that everyone needs to write to In-N-Out and tell them to build an In-N-Out in Rexburg. Well anyone who knows a lick about franchising knows it's not as easy as this folks seem to think it is, but that's beside the point.


My point is that there were mixed reactions to a Rexburg In-N-Out. There were some who love in and out and would want one here, their opinions are valid. There are those who think it's over-hyped and disgusting, also valid opinions. But then there were the Californians. Here are some of their comments:




Rachel: "Hmmm. There's no way Rexburg even deserves on In-N-Out."                                      


Scottie: I want that place to stay local."                
                  
Nathan:"in n outs should not be where you cannot keep two palm trees criss     cross"           


So, I decided it was time for me to put in my two cents. I sense some of you already cringing.
This was my first reply:


Perhaps someday I'll be worthy of this culture...
AlexSo, I like In-N-Out and everything, but one of my biggest pet peeves is someone who thinks that they are somehow more entitled to something simply based on geography. Your sports team is the best just because the city they represent is in the same state as you? Ignoring the fact that you have absolutely no connection to anyone on the team. Your state obviously produces the highest quality iteration of it's most popular export, even though neither you, nor anyone you know, is involved in the production process.


Likewise, people assume that just because their parents happened to live in the south west, the are automatically entitled to In-N-Out, as if it somehow belonged to them exclusively. Unless you personally hold a significant portion of shares in the In-N-Out corporation I'd prefer nobody talk to me about who is and is not "deserving" of an In-N-Out.


*I've hiked the skirt of The Himalayas, I've spent significant amounts of time in more than two thirds of the lower 48, and been to more European countries than that. I'm well traveled, and well cultured. But because I happen to live Rexburg right now, you have the audacity to tell you I am or am not worthy of a certain fast food chain just because you grew up with one a few blocks down the street?
 *It should be noted that several of the statements in the preceding paragraph are false, but were included only to prove a point.
So yes, by all means Scottie let's keep it "local." Because I'd hate to think that they'd abandon their roots of 248 locations in 4 states to actually expand their enterprise. I can't think of anything more local than that.


Come on guys, you've turned a 3 star fast food restaurant into a faux-religion and placed yourselves at the head of the decision making council. I don't really care if Rexburg gets an In-N-Out, I'm just sick of some of these never-left-home Californians around campus thinking that they have the monopoly on cool because they were the racial minority in their high school.


Let's all just accept that people really aren't and can't be defined by where they grew up, and that everybody's home state is equally as awesome and crappy as everyone else's. 

I was proud of myself, as only proud people can be. But I figured that wouldn't be the end of it. A few hours later, I got this well punctuated reply.


Johnny: "Alex if you were from California, you would understand but good essay though. You should turn it in to your english teacher now."  
        (Liked by 1 Californian) 


Ok I can tell when a thick skull just isn't going to break. I tried reason, but it failed on these oh so proud parishioners of In-N-Out. The only option seemed clear (the only option that is that allowed me to gratify my pride that is). The only way to fight stupidity, is with a greater degree of stupidity. It was time to troll. So I responded with this:


Alex:  If only you weren't from California Johnny, you would understand In-N-Out. 
What you don't realize is that in a recent study, Wisconsinites actually proved to have the deepest love for In-N-Out, and the most profound understanding of the inner workings of the franchise. I know it's unbelievable, but it's science, and you can't argue with that. Unfortunately both you and I bow to our Wisconsin bretheren when it comes to 'understanding.'"


I doubt this will be the end of it. Like they say, "arguing on the internet is like racing in the special olympics, even if you win you're still....." actually I'm not going to finish that. The point is, where you're from does not make you who you are. Who you are makes you who you are. I don't understand how that is so hard for people to grasp. If you're from California, cool. If you like In-N-Out, all the better. Just be content enough in your own ability to like something that the experience isn't cheapened for you as more people start to like it. If  you don't want a restaurant in Rexburg because the food and service sucks, that's one thing (I'm looking at you Sammy's). If you don't want it there because you've gotten the weird delusion that the restaurant means something more to you than to the people of Rexburg and they are undeserving of it, you're an idiot, go grow a mustache and eat and Sammy's.

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